Butterflies Don't Lie
by mtd4417
Summary: Songfic - Ziva has been holding back her feelings for so long, but in a moment of weakness, will she break down and reveal what she has promised herself she never would?


**A/N:** Hello everyone. So, I heard this song today for the first time in a very long time, and I instantly was given an idea for a one-shot songfic. I hope you like it, because I personally think this song is beautiful, and if you haven't heard it, I suggest listening to it!

Disclaimer: I do not own NCIS, any original characters, the song "Butterflies Don't Lie", nor do I know or have any connections to the song's singer Kaci.

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It was a cold December night and it was getting late outside. Team Gibbs had been working all day on a case and it was appearing that they were getting no where fast. Ziva David sat at her desk staring at her computer screen. She was extremely tired and was finding it very hard to focus on her job. With a sigh, she directed her attention to the window to her right. Outside she could see an array of street lights illuminating the city. She also watched as tiny white snowflakes fell from the black sky. The scenery was beautiful, like a post card. She sighed again and was brought back to reality when Tony DiNozzo walked past her desk. He set a cup of coffee on her desk before handing one to each Gibbs and McGee and keeping one for himself. Ziva mumbled a quick 'thank you' and turned away from the window.

Tony sat across from Ziva, and she tried with all her might not to look at him. She knew that once their eyes met, she would be lost in him and in her own feelings. At work, Ziva often tried not to let her feelings take over, but at the crime scene today, she had had a moment of weakness. Tony had been comforting a little girl who had just lost her father, and Ziva had melted. When Gibbs had tried to give her orders, she couldn't regain her thoughts for a long moment, and the men on her team had questioned her well-being. She knew that as much as she tried to ignore her feelings for Tony, they were real, and they were strong. So now, she sat across from him, avoiding his gaze, but aching for it at the same time.

**You walk by**

**And my heart beats**

**A thousand times at once, it seems.**

**And every time you look at me,**

**I have to tell myself to breathe.**

**With just a smile you capture me, and I start to melt.**

**Emotions then take over me like I've never felt.**

Ziva had known since day one that there had been something between her and Tony. There had always been sexual tension and a lot of flirtatious behavior. Their first under cover mission together had been incredible, and Ziva wished more than anything that she could experience that every day. If only they had not been acting...

Her feelings had continued and intensified, although she tried to stop it. Day by day over the years, she fell more in love with her partner. In Somalia, when she had come face to face with Tony, he had admitted that he couldn't live without Ziva, and had told her not to ask anything she didn't want to know the answer to. If only she had asked anyway...

But the truth of the matter was that she hadn't. Ziva had come to terms with the fact that she and Tony were only friends and partners, and she knew that no matter how badly she wanted more than that, she couldn't have it.

"I'm calling it a night," Gibbs said, ripping Ziva out of her thoughts. Gibbs stood from his desk and bid his team good night before leaving into the peaceful winter night.

Gibbs... He was of course another reason why Ziva tried to hide her feelings for Tony. Gibbs had a rule that coworkers were not to date. Ziva loved her job and could not break Gibbs' rules. She tried to use this as her main justification for keeping her feelings to herself. She couldn't break the rule and risk losing Gibbs' respect and Tony's friendship all at once. Ziva knew she was doing the right thing, no matter how badly it hurt her to do so.

**I could tell my heart each time**

**It isn't love, you're just some guy.**

**There's nothing there, and what I feel**

**Is in my head, it isn't real.**

**But I can't deny,**

**Can't even try.**

**'Cause I know inside**

**Butterflies don't lie.**

Ziva picked up a file laying on her desk and started turning through the pages. She still wasn't focusing on her work; she was thinking back to how embarrassed she had been that day at the crime scene. There was no way that Gibbs and McGee, and even Tony, could have missed that she was preoccupied with something else on her mind. And she knew that Tony had seen her watching him. Ziva shook her head and tried to erase the earlier event from her mind for the time being. So what if Tony had caught her staring at him; it's not like they'd never had a moment like that before. Ziva knew it had meant nothing to Tony; none of it had. They had never dated, nor had they ever talked about dating. In fact, Tony and Ziva had both dated many other people.

'_Many_ other people,' Ziva thought to herself. Tony went through girls like it was his job, and Ziva knew that he wasn't ready to settle down. Even if he was, it could never be with her. So, she decided that she must keep her feelings a secret until she could just will them away. Surely she could convince herself that she wasn't in love with Tony. After all, the heart can only want something for so long before it gives up, right?

Ziva shook her head again and sighed. She was still trying to avoid Tony, but her heart was begging her to sneak a glance his way. She took a deep breath and raised her eyes to look over at Tony. His head was bent down, and he was actually focusing on the paperwork in front of him. Ziva watched him work for a moment and smiled internally. Tony took his job a lot more seriously than he was often given credit for, and Ziva knew that he really was a great guy. In fact, he was all that she wanted in a guy. In the distance, Ziva heard someone clear their throat. It turned out to be McGee who stood and announced that he too was leaving for the night. When Tony looked up to tell McGee good night, he caught Ziva staring at him and their eyes met.

**Is there a chance you could be mine**

**If I let you see inside?**

**Or do you love somebody else?**

**Should I keep this to myself?**

**I could risk a broken heart by telling you the truth.**

**Or I could keep my secret safe, and when I see you...**

Ziva's breath caught in her throat and she didn't know what to do. She held Tony's gaze, wondering when to break it. She didn't want to look away quickly and seem nervous or awkward. But she also didn't want to stare at him for too long and make him feel uncomfortable. Ziva felt her mouth open as if it wanted to say something, but she couldn't find the words. So to add to her staring, she was also gaping at the man she was trying to hide her feelings from. The reality of this hit Ziva and she felt even more low and embarrassed than before. She closed her mouth and looked down at her desk, feeling her cheeks begin to burn red.

"Ziva," Tony said softly.

"I should go," Ziva said quietly. She gathered her things and stood from her desk. "Good night."

Ziva hurried to the elevator and, once inside it, hit the emergency stop button. In the solitude of the elevator, Ziva let out a long breath and let a couple of tears fall from her eyes. She had not even realized that she was on the verge of crying. Today had been a complete nightmare for her. There was no way that Tony could not have realized something was wrong with her. Was he going to press the issue? How would she handle it? Could she continue pretending like she had no feelings for him? Could she even work with him anymore?

**I could tell my heart each time**

**It isn't love, you're just some guy.**

**There's nothing there, and what I feel**

**Is in my head, it isn't real.**

**But I can't deny,**

**Can't even try.**

**'Cause I know inside**

**Butterflies don't lie.**

Ziva had left the building and was walking quickly through the parking garage to her car. She was wiping at her tear streamed cheeks when she heard the sound of someone running behind her. She didn't have time to turn around and see who it was before the person caught up to her and grabbed her shoulder.

"Ziva, wait," Tony said as he turned Ziva to face him.

"What?" she asked, avoiding eye contact that would bring further embarrassment.

"Are you okay?" Tony asked.

"Yes, I am fine," Ziva lied. She tried to turn away from him, but Tony grabbed her shoulders and made her face him.

"No you're not," he said sternly. "Ziva, what has been up with you today?" Ziva sniffled and still wouldn't look at him.

"I do not know what you are talking about," she continued lying.

"Yes you do," Tony said. He noticed that Ziva was avoiding eye contact and tried lifting her head up with his hand under her chin. Ziva resisted. "Come on, Zi. Look at me."

"No," she said quietly.

"Why not?" Tony asked.

"Because I can't," Ziva whispered so lowly that Tony barely heard.

"Why not?" he asked again very gently. Ziva shook her head and tried again to turn away, but Tony wouldn't let her.

"Tony, do not do this," Ziva warned him. "I do not want anything said that I may regret later."

"What does that mean?" Tony asked. "Did I do something wrong?" Ziva shook her head and a small, sad smile formed across her mouth.

"No, of course not," she replied. "But I am trying to work through some personal issues, and I do not want anything that I am feeling right now to hurt our relationship."

"How could it?" Tony asked. "Ziva, I am here for you. You can talk to me about anything. We're friends; we're partners. I care about you, and you know that." Ziva nodded. Most of what Tony had said was correct, but she couldn't talk to him about this. This was the one thing that Ziva could not share with him.

"Well, thank you for your concern, Tony, but I cannot talk about this right now," Ziva said and tried one last time to turn away from Tony. Tony grabbed her shoulders and spun her around to face him. Instinctively, Ziva looked up at him and their eyes met. Both of them froze. Ziva was lost in him again. Tony stood looking at her and felt himself begin to melt as well. Being this close to her, he began to instantly study the sparkles in Ziva's eyes and the snowflakes on her eyelashes and hair.

"Ziva, I..."

**Once again, there you are**

**Anxiousness, nervous heart.**

**Butterflies fluttering**

**Can only mean one thing.**

"Tony, I am sorry, but I have to go now," Ziva said as she broke their gaze.

"Ziva, no," Tony said sternly. "I want to know what you're keeping from me." He could see Ziva's eyes begin to fill with tears, and he knew she was getting ready to give in.

"No you don't," she replied quietly. "I know that you don't."

"Why do you say that?" Tony asked.

"Because it would change everything," she replied and her voice cracked. Ziva swallowed hard and shook her head. Tony squeezed her shoulder, urging her to continue. "It has just … gotten so hard for me."

"What has?" Tony asked softly. Ziva shook her head and tried to blink back her tears. "Come on, Ziva. Please tell me." Ziva heard the kindness in Tony's voice and dared to look up at him. She saw his eyes pleading with hers and knew that she had to tell him and get it over with. Even if he didn't return her feelings, which she was sure he would not, maybe they could eventually move past this. Ziva took a deep breath.

"Keeping my feelings inside," Ziva replied.

"Ziva, you don't have to do that," Tony assured her. "I know you were always so tough and strong, and believe me, you still are, but Ziva, talking about your feelings isn't a sign of weakness. It's a sign of being human."

"You do not understand," Ziva continued. "I am not talking about feelings in general. I am talking about my feelings for..."

"For what?" Tony asked. Ziva took another deep breath.

"For you," she answered. Tony felt a surge of happiness inside of him. Had he heard correctly?

"What feelings for me?" he asked for clarification. Ziva swallowed hard, knowing that after coming this far, she had to just open up and reveal everything. There was no other way.

"I have very strong feelings for you," she began. "Every since meeting you, I knew that you were special. The more that I worked with you, the more attracted to you I became. I knew that I was creating a fantasy in my mind and that I could not show my true feelings, but it just got so hard. I love you, Tony, and I am tired of having to tell myself that I don't."

"Well," Tony began, still in shock and not believing that he was hearing correctly. "Who said that you had to tell yourself that?"

"What do you mean?" Ziva asked confused. Tony took a deep breath; it was his turn to be honest with her.

"Ziva, I know what you're going through," he said.

"And how would you know that?" she asked.

"Because I'm going through it too," Tony replied. Ziva's eyes widened as Tony spoke. "Ziva, I know what you mean when you say you knew since the beginning. I knew too. I love you too, Ziva, and I never want you to think that you have to hide your feelings from me again." Ziva's face formed a huge smile and tears began to fall from her eyes again.

"Really?" she asked. Tony nodded.

"Really," he replied. Ziva put her arms around Tony's neck, and the gap between their lips was closed instantly as they shared their first kiss as a couple. Ziva had honestly not planned on revealing her true feelings to Tony, and when she realized she had to, she had certainly not expected the conversation to turn out in her favor. As she and Tony stood embracing in the parking garage in the brisk winter air, Ziva knew that she had made the right choice, and was happy that she had finally let her heart speak for her when she had thought that she shouldn't.

**I could tell my heart each time**

**It isn't love, you're just some guy.**

**There's nothing there, and what I feel**

**Is in my head, it isn't real.**

**But I can't deny,**

**Can't even try.**

**'Cause I know inside**

**Butterflies don't lie.**

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**A/N:** Well, that's the end! I hope you enjoyed it :) Please review! Thanks for reading!


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